Marriage and its failure!

Marriage and its failure!

Marriage – a sanctity, sacred objects, obligations and rights.

In my view failure is the result of facts purposely hidden from each other or between the families involved in self-managed or arranged marriages? When differences in behaviors, over-expectations, intolerance, abusive language, not clarifying the doubts, no forgiveness, taunting, come to surface and are not resolved amicably or middleman advice, divorce is the sword to cut the wedlock into two. When you have decided to marry or rather you are thinking to marry, view marriage history in neighbour, in family and discuss odds and evens with friends with experience. It is good to know the unknown beforehand.

And, there have been instances when another daughter is married in the same house. We should behave others as we want ourselves to be behaved. Doubt is the seed of weeds and harmony is fertilizer for self and next generation. Please cooperate with each other, create a joyful happy atmosphere so your children should blossom in graceful looks and character, pro-family, pro-people, pro-friends.

When negotiating the proposal, new relation is on the anvil, both sides should speak respectfully, openly and not hesitantly, about anything that comes to mind and needs clarification. Both sides should make a list of questions and be ready to answer very clearly – no zigzags - no ifs and buts. Leave no peepholes. Modified definition of “neighbour”: “Neighbour is he who knows more than you know of yourself”. Away from the neighbourhood, there are relatives who have been on ‘odds’ with you and they are opportunists. To avoid future complications all of us should try to sort out things with tolerance, give and take, forgiveness.

Speak about your present family status, way of living, past history?, income, job/no job, education etc. Do not make promises that may not come true.

During initial inter-visits of families, before finalizing the proposal, involve your relatives, good friends, neighbour in your sittings. It is respectful for all the participants. That will be helpful mediator in the future in straightening out any odds because they were witness to the discussions.

Suggestions are welcome!

sheikhmsarwar@gmail.com