Family structure; how to keep it intact

Family structure –
how to keep it intact

Spider web is strong enough to safeguard the inhabitants. The web knots are members of the web and threads represent relations with each other and with the head of the house. If any intruder steps in, the threads and knots will trap and let it die its own death.

Setup of a family, to me, is similar, and rather should be. Share information, events and even slight fears and doubts. A demand or for that matter a concession be spoken and listened respectfully for an amiable solution. We should place ourselves in other’s situation to have a feeling of the matter under discussion. Airing out of the area will encourage others to politely poison blood running into your family web threads. Please avoid it. Nip this evil in the bud.

Nobody likes to repeat:
I talked and she listened
She talked and I listened
Then we both talked and neighbor listened

We should create same atmosphere at work place also.

When we marry our children we should look back in our own past. Free them for some time in their room. Let them dine out; enjoy free time out of house. Let them be the guard of their belongings. To win parents’ affection, children should discuss with them for any addition, replacement or getting rid of a piece of valuables.

Should husband and wife share facts! They must share odds and evens sitting same side rather across the table, with tea and snacks which give some spells to absorb discussion or think of a better suggestion. Betraying each other is pulling things out of gear. They should not let things go out of hand. Care is better than cure. Think twice before hiding facts. Let each partner relax and be free from daylong stress. Tell the partner if there was any community news or any thing new about your children.

Children are friendly with mother and they tell her facts and fears. No doubt mother can handle bad and good in a cool and very sophisticated manner. Men should but cannot control anger and lose temper easily. Mother can bring husband to a very cool mood and ask him to listen patiently and come up with a solution. Keep domestic matters within the boundaries of the house.

Few cases I heard of were to the contrary of my thinking.

 Girl told story of her rape pregnancy to the mother
 First reaction of mother: Don’t let your father know, he will kill you
 Abortion was conducted
 Where pregnancy took a serious shape; a story went around: “a tumor has been removed” and therefore girl was sick for few days

Are we sincere to each other? If we are, why we have complaints or hide facts from each other. Why relations are so strained that they grow feathers and become mosquitoes to whisper in others ears!!!

sheikhmsarwar@gmail.com